The Tales of Lieutenants Ruth “Squid” Lovecrafted and Jess “Banshee” Toasty of the Battlestar Galactica. Or the Colonial Fleet. Or the Battlestar Gacraftica. Or the Colonial Tweet.

As we well know, off-duty pilots don’t always make the best decisions about how to spend their free time. Some of them get into fights with superior officers, some get their rocks off with prostitutes on Cloud 9, and some hare off and join wackadoodle monotheistic cults. Some even fly ships into suns.

Squid and Banshee are not that kind of pilot.

Those who are more goofball than hero never get enough attention, and so, as a corrective measure, we are going off duty with Squid and Banshee, two pilots with delusions of competency and a wealth of silliness, as they wander around the Battlestar Galactica wearing their fancy double tanks.

Squid: Holding up a tiny toy Viper and making a confused face as I wonder how to get into it.

Gee, Banshee, how do you think we’re supposed to fly these tiny things?

Banshee: Banshee wearing sunglasses and trying to strike a cool pose.

Drink more. That’s how. Or… wait, no, those can’t be right. are you sure this is the hangar deck?

Squid: Holding the Viper toy and giving a thumbs up and a smile.

Oh wait, this is one of those models for the tourists. I knew we shouldn’t have left the gift store in the hangar deck.

Banshee: Holding up a beer and peering at the camera through sunglasses.


Squid: Attempt at a seductive face

What’s a girl gotta do to get one of those?

Banshee: Attempt at a seductive response. Beer is now sitting in her thigh holster.

Normally I’d say ‘bend over,’ but that doesn’t seem either very nice or very practical. So really, you steal from the fridge behind the counter.

Squid: Sudden change of genre! Pointing the 10th Doctor's sonic screwdriver at the camera

Didn’t find any beer. Did find this weird sonic-y thing. I wonder what happens if I point it at stuff.

Banshee: Holding a beer bottle over her fly with a cheeky look on her face.

…my pants just unbuttoned. What the frak?

Squid: Unable to stop laughing

Oh excellent.

Banshee: Looking at the camera like she wants to know what else a sonic can do.


Squid: Holding up one finger distractedly. Unsure why my husband took that photo.

Hang on, more important matters. I think I just saw something.

Banshee: Sweeping her hand to her chest and cocking her hips..

You have found something that trumps beer and undone pants? This I gotta see.

Squid: Photograph of a light switch that was behind me. No person.

Waiiit for it.

Squid: Pointing a finger-gun at a Cylon-Cthulhu hybrid doll.

OMG. I found this tiny octo-monster thing. But it’s also a Cylon. Do you think I could keep it as a pet or a mascot or something?

Banshee: Very unimpressed face.

It’s a frakking toaster. We kill frakking toasters.

Banshee: Threatening to punch a Cylon Cthulhu doll who is now, unexpectedly wearing her shades.

The little frakker took my shades!

Banshee: Another view of the threatening ffist.

I will hurt you, you little punk-ass cylapus or whatever you are.

Banshee: Threatening said doll with a beer bottle.

Give. Them. BACK.

Banshee: Holding the doll upside down. Sunglasses have been retrieved.

Solid. How you like being upside-down? Huh? Huh? You DON’T.

Banshee: Pointing a crossbow at the camera

Next time, Squid, I say we handle them this way. I’m keeping my frakking shades.

Squid: Back to seductive look

So now…about those pants.

Banshee: Smug look.

Right on.

A quick note on where we got the double-tanks and sizing. We got them from ANOVOS. Mine’s (Ruth/Squid) a Small, which fits well but hangs a bit baggy on my 36″ chest, 27″ waist (which I’m fine with, because I was worried it’d be painted on). Jess is very slightly bigger (37.5″ chest in a sports bra), and her Medium is bigger than she was hoping for. It does, however, fit across the shoulders, and may fit better through the trunk with a little tailoring. So if you’re planning to order, keep in mind they run a bit larger than you might expect for a woman. The sizing chart told me that I was a Small, and while I wasn’t sure whether to believe it, it was right.


  1. Jess says:

    I can’t help but be kind of proud of us for being so very dorky.

  2. Ruth says:

    *grin* *clicks beers* I love being dorky with you.

  3. matt says:

    all my buddy and I did was watch the Avengers cartoon and question the insanity of the world lol

  4. Tasha Lee says:

    You guys rock so hard.

  5. Clayton says:

    What is going on I don’t even

  6. Ruth says:

    Remember, Clayton, this is the girl who rolled a d20 to see if her halfling’s cleavage could distract the guard (should’ve put more ranks in CHA!). Sometimes I’m very silly. 😛

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